Pee? On me??

"...you may need someone to pee on you."

We are headed to Cuba tomorrow.

I've noticed there is a common theme on advice given to one who is planning a hot holiday.

"All you need is a bathing suit and lingerie."
"All you need is two bathing suits."
"All you need is one pair of shoes and two bathing suits."

Really?
Are you kidding me?
Do you not know me at all?!?!?

Let me set things straight. My list of things to bring is two full pages long and Mr. Man has his own list started.
Yes. That's right. And aside from perhaps a shirt or two, I can almost guarantee you that every. single. item. will. get. used.

I don't understand why I would travel all the way to Cuba just to be miserable because I have no sunglasses or underwear.

I mean, really.

Sunscreen. shampoo. sugar tables. beach sandals. dress sandals. cover up. beach bag. books. (Oh we'll be busy but there'll be plenty of time for books too.) deoderant. toothbrush. toothpaste. camera. Drugs. (Ahem, perhaps I will call them my medication starting tomorrow ;)

The list goes on and on.
Never mind the paper work.
Sure, the average person takes their passport and is good to go.
Me? Well. Add to passport, letter from my Dr. saying I have diabetes and need to carry syringes, that that is an insulin pump tucked between my boobs and not a weapon of mass destruction, copies of my regular prescriptions, copies of my special prescription, blah, blah, blah.
Ask Mr. Man. Nothing is simple with me.

So, thanks everyone, but your, "Two bathing suits and some thongs" (I'm sorry, do you mean flipflops by chance?? Cuz otherwise that's getting kinda personal...) doesn't fly with me.

The advice I will take however, is "Don't step on a jellyfish..."
Don would have to be a Chandler to my Monica. Not cool.

So I will pack my bag to its fullest capacity and I will be happy.
Happy and urine free.

:D