Forget Your Nuts?

This post has nothing to do with fashion, nor diabetes. Although I am going to talk about family and my fathers both have diabetes and my cousin Sally doesn't dress very well. (Okay, so I don't have a cousin named Sally but my Grandpa once sent a present in the mail for me addressed to "Sally" if that counts. And I didn't dress very well back then.)

Anyway, on to the interesting stuff.

So.

At Christmas I find we spend a lot of time hanging out with family and eating. No surprise there, right? There are always goodies such as nanaimo bars, pecan tarts, that "Crack" made of sugary and crispy and chocolaty something that my sister-in-law always makes and gets me hooked every time.

I am typing this from rehab.

Luckily, we also put out things like veggies with dip and nuts.

Speaking of nuts...

Sitting around the dining room table playing an innocent game of "Battle of the Sexes", one of my family members blurted out a confession I never would've seen coming. (Not the event, nor the confession.)
To protect her innocence, I'll just call this family member M-I-L from now on.

So, to recap, we are lounging around, playing a heated-in-a-fun-sort-of-way game when the topic of nuts came up. Someone said something like, "Are there any nuts?"  when M-I-L says, "I asked the shelf-stocker at the grocery store the other day if he would show me his nuts."

{Choke} {Spasm of laughter} {Tears streaming down my face}

What?

You asked him to show you his nuts?!?!?

"I-I-I was looking for the section of nuts and realized the second I said it what I had actually just asked..."

Her death flashed before my eyes. Her, lying on the grocery store floor, dy...ing of an embarrassment attack.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

If you only knew M-I-L! Her boys push her over the edge of disgust and frustration with their "inappropriate" humour all the time!

She said he handled it very professionally and quietly walked her to the nut aisle.

Ahahahahahahah!!!! I can't even think nor type the word "nut" without the giggles taking over.

I can only imagine what his family gathering looked like when he told his aunts and uncles what this perv of a 60-something woman asked of him.

Ahahahahahaha!!!

M-I-L, we love you. And we love you even more since you shared this with us. We have a new respect for you now that you have loosened up and come to the dark side of hilarious "inappropriate" Schwartz humour. Just know, we will mock you forever now.

So we all thank you, M-I-L, for spreading joy and merriment during this Christmas season.

Well gotta run. I am feeling sorta hungry.
The good thing about Christmas is the stuff people leave behind.
I think I'll go find my newly acquired nuts. ;)