The Creepy Eyeball

I want to be small.
Well,
Smaller at least. I don't think at 6 feet tall I will ever be described as "tiny". I'd settle for "tiny wasted."
At least my ankles qualify.
Here's the dilemma: When eating low-carb for the diabetes, coupled with the vegetarianism, it seems the trade off often equals calories - delicious, fat growing calories. Not that I've been growing, but with the risk of repeating myself...I want to be smaller.
And I'd like to know why the second I sit down on my couch with a snack in hand,  The Biggest Loser is on the tube. Every time. It is an unnatural phenomenon. It's like it knows. It makes me uncomfortable - Both the show, guilting me to death, and the phenomenon itself. As if some spooky eyeball is staring down from the sky, zapping my television every time I eat that salty, buttery popcorn.
I suppose I should thank that eyeball, since I told myself I couldn't go shopping until I lost a few pounds. I suppose the weight of the guilt crushing (squishing?) my flabby belly is actually doing me a favour.
I suppose.
I've never found guilt to be a positive motivator.
But I do want to be smaller. {sigh}
Well, I'm feeling kinda hungry. Should probably have a snack.
I think I'll go turn on the TV before I choose a tasty delight this time. ;)