I Didn't Tell You Everything: After Beth and the Beatles

In my last blog post I didn't tell you everything.
Yes, my Scouser friend Beth brought me pure joy while dancing the jitterbug, in the Cavern, in Liverpool. And yes, I wept with tears of joy watching her.
But the story doesn't end there.
After a few more Beatles hits, ache crawled into my legs demanding a break. As I sat soaking up the music, my abdomen began to cramp and nausea crept up my throat. The music not at fault, it was then I was reminded I am a sick person.
Two profound emotions collided within me. First, I was struck by how the ability to touch, smell, and see are gifts still in my grasp. One of my ailments had leapt to the forefront of my mind. You may or may not know, in the past I have experienced temporary blindness and it could realistically become permanent due to retinopathy from the Diabetes.
Suddenly, my surroundings came alive: The curved rock ceiling, rough to my fingertips and every inch marked with signatures and messages of which I can only assume were of patrons; the red phone booth tucked in a corner, characteristic of this piece of the world; the window housing John Lennon sunglasses for sale, invoking want; the dark tunnel leading to the toilets, fear of behind the door overriding urgency; collective body heat I can only describe as close; the smell of sweat, beer and a hint of mint wafting throughout the dim light; Men and women, young and old swaying, even hopping to the beat. Alert sensations brought me an understanding of the Cavern I would've otherwise missed, had I only danced. Now I was fully living.
Conflicted, profound sadness also pierced, adding metaphorical pain to the physical. As I closed my eyes and silently begged the music to overtake the disease, the band changed its tune.
Wonderwall by Oasis filled every ear, soul
 and rock pore in the cave. Voices rose to the ceiling, the words known to all:


 There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I stood, grabbing onto Don, who was already rocking to the beat.

...maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me

As tears rolled down my face our eyes locked and we knew. We just knew. I don't know how else to say it.

He's already saved me. He saves me every day.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed, while I sobbed every ache and joy into his chest.

The Cavern is just a club, deep in the ground, with bored but professional tribute bands playing the Beatles night after night. I'm sure inebriation will have caused amnesia for many, just a meaningless night of partying.
But for me, the intense poignancy of my engagement with sense, there deep beneath the street, has carved its memory into my very being.

And all the roads that lead you there are winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
 
But I don't know how