Disoriented Guess-ing

Shopping is a workout. Sure, not a hard-core one. But zig-zagging through store after store, mixed with frantically tearing off clothes and redressing yourself after trying on multiple layers can be exhausting. At least it's enough to drop my blood sugar levels drastically making me shake, sweat profusely and feel like I want to eat an elephant. (And I am a vegetarian ;)
The shopping bus I am about to climb aboard will deliver me straight into the town of hypo-glycemia.
I must get prepared.
I need to create a mental checklist to get through this alive.
a) When moving hard and fast...turn off insulin pump
b) Load my over the shoulder bag with glucose tablets
c) Fill my bag with fruit snacks and protein bars
d) Become very aware of the location of all washroom facilities along the way in case of the need for emergency shower improvisation in the sink.
I suppose the worst thing that could happen (aside from losing consciousness, someone calling an ambulance, and me receiving a whopper of a medical bill in the mail two weeks later), is that I could lose my way. Did I mention I get disoriented and can't concentrate when I have a low blood sugar? I mean, seriously...what if I thought I was in "Express" and instead landed myself in "Guess?"!! That could be a financial disaster! My jeans could end up costing me double, and I wouldn't even realize it until I recovered and found myself actually in Express.
Oh the dangers of shopping! But Guess what?!? (Bad pun, I know.) I don't care. That is a minefield I am willing to risk navigating.
And I am almost certain of one thing...
It will all be worth it as I strut in my new (expensive!) hot jeans!