Lotion. Blech.

My skin is flaking off and I feel red and raw. I think there is a word for this sort of thing.
Oh yes.
Chafing.
Here's the dilemma.
It is FREAKIN' COLD and DRY in Manitoba right now
And
I LOATHE Lotion.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the benefits of lotion. When your skin feels soft and smooth, like butter.
But I HATE the way it goes on. It feels icky and oily and I have it in my little pea-brained head that every granular piece of dust or hair lying around jumps from its restful location onto my greasy, lotioned hands and sticks. Blech.
So here, in this juxtaposition of health and beauty, squarely sits frustration.
The lotion bottle stares with its scrawny little neck taunting me, daring me to just pump and squirt. My dry legs scream "Yes! Yes! Do it!" 
But my hands just can't bring themselves to reach for the dirt clinging bottle of yuck.
Mr. Man thinks my lotion phobia is just one more quirk of my many, begging for normalcy.
Normalcy is boring though, right?
Well, anyway, back to my dilemma...I sure would appreciate it if someone could concoct a Susie-friendly moisturizing option. You could name it Sus-a-licious and we could profit share (since you are usuing my brand and all).
Well, that's my bundle of profound thought for today. I'm sure it rocked your world.
Ouch.
Did I mention I am wearing jeans? ;)