Belts for Boobies!

My family is going in business together. We came up with a genius new product idea that was inspired by a childhood memory.
We're calling the new best-seller, "Belts for Boobies".
Huh? you are asking right now.
Well.
Sometimes as women get older, the "girls" get a little lazy. They decide they no longer have the energy to fight Mr. Gravity.
This can be dangerous.
Imagine going for your daily 1/8 mile run and getting slapped in the face by your own flesh and blood as these tubular tornadoes come flying high. It's not pretty. And you can only go the 1/8 of a mile due to the force in which your soft squishy stalactites fly up and spank your cheeks.
No.
Seat belts for Safety needed!
It's okay. We have found the answer.
We will take your average leather belt (less chaffing than canvas), and we will add two extra buckles a few inches from the middle to give room for modesty. (The old lady in S.R. didn't wear a shirt with her boobie belt, so why should you have to?) Or better yet! I could put roses on the front of it! You just strap those babies down (some of you maybe only need a larger sized multi-functioning waist belt to do the trick - three birds, one stone) and run, run, run.
Or, perhaps you would be more comfortable tossing them over your shoulders and then strapping them down. Like little twin backpacks. If you decide to go with this option, you may need to adjust the buckles into an alternate position. Don't worry. We will build this into the design.
Bras are a thing of the past. The Belt is where it's at
It's the ultimate tube top. Nice and cool. Never needs to be washed. Aren't see-through.
Those are important features when it comes to running on a hot day. Or even just sitting on your porch, rocking in your hammock. You never know when those puppies are going take a flying leap and hit the deck.
I'll get to the point. Investors needed. Please contact me at this address if interested. Spread the word.
These things are gonna be big! (Especially if you were originally a DD ;)

P.S. If you are reading this and are the old lady who unknowingly inspired this business decision by stylin' this fashion on your front deck in those long-ago summers, I hope you are dead. No. I could never wish anyone dead. But know this: The patent is MINE!!