The Good Wife

My husband likes a good tall skinny... heel. (You thought I was gonna say woman didn't you! ;) He has great fashion sense when it comes to women's clothing, and definitely has an opinion of what looks good on me. He loves it when I dress up in a cute skirt and pony tail.
I'll be honest. Sometimes my choice of what to wear is solely determined by what I know he would like to see me in. I may not feel like wearing that black fitted dress with four-inch strappy heels, but because I love him so much and know it makes him happy, I put them on regardless of my fashion mood.
Switching gears for a moment, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the concept of being a good wife. Now before you get all upset and start thinking thoughts about women's liberation...I am not talking about being passive or submissive. The discussion was about how to be a good "sick" spouse. She too has chronic illness and deals with a lot of health stress.
 It is so hard feeling tired and in pain a lot of the time, and it is easy to complain about our woes to our husbands. But they understandably get sick of hearing about us being sick. (Before I go any further, I have to tell you that I have the most patient husband in the world in this area. He is awesome!) And even if they don't voice their frustrations with our health status, they still have to deal with the stress of it all. They love us, and can't fix us. That is hard for anyone who loves deeply for another.
And what about when they come home and say, "I'm so tired," or, "I have a headache," while you have just had a horrible day dealing with pain and exhaustion. Is it the loving thing to do to say "Are you serious?!? You are tired?!? You have no idea the day I've had!" I think not. It's not a competition.
I think it is probably worse dealing with the stress of watching your beloved suffer, not be able to do anything about it, take upon the worry of unknown test results, feel tired yourself, etc. etc., than to be the one suffering. It's like when my mom watched me almost die when diagnosed with diabetes, and all she could say was "I just want to take your place." But she couldn't. She just had to watch and comfort.
So yes, I sometimes dress with the number one goal of pleasing my husband's eye.  And much more importantly I need to be honest with him about my health status for the day, but all the while keep his feelings in mind. Rain or shine, he and I are in this together. Contrary to how I sometimes act, I am learning...
It's not all about me.