A Thing of Beauty

You know when things pile up and life bites you in the butt? Well, I am in that place right now. Stress coming from multiple directions all aimed at me and more importantly, the people that I love. And I know I am not myself when...
We needed groceries so I went to the city to pick some up. Usually I love days in the city by myself. I run errands, take myself out for coffee and write or ponder life, and often wander through some clothing stores. Sometimes I go to the mall, and sometimes I go to second hand stores to look for hidden treasures.
Today I had a hard time getting motivated to even get ready and drive to the city, and this is where it gets really bad...even once there, all I could do was wish I was back home. I didn't go to the mall, wasn't excited about the clothing section in the "grocery" store and didn't even go out for coffee. Like I said...you know I am not myself when I could care less about shopping.
But there are more important things than shopping going on all around me. People are dying, hurting, aging, and are trying to wrestle the difficulties of life to the ground. Myself included. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we don't.
At this point in my life there are moments when I don't feel like eating at all, and then my carb-addiction kicks into high gear and all I want to do is shovel in the cake. (Luckily I don't have any cake in my house, but I am telling you...that bakery section of the grocery store almost sucked me in today. Thankfully that is one battle I won.) It is hard enough keeping blood sugars regulated while under stress, never mind throwing in the junk I wish I could eat.
But a magnificent, delicately tiny hummingbird came to visit me at my window, and his beauty was an unexpected gift. It reminded me there is hope. Not that everything will get better, and in fact some things will get worse, but that it is worth the struggle, the fight.
So for now I will keep treading water to stay afloat, just as the hummingbird flutters his wings to fly.
And who knows...maybe someday I will get to join him.