GASOLINE In My FACE?!?!

 So I saw a new doc the other day. On Christmas Eve Eve Eve. His name was Dr. Afrifri or Afroufrou or something like that. (Need I comment?)
There I sat. In the waiting room. With nothing but sighs, magazines flipping, Oh! and one guy who blurted out "Yabadabadoo!"
I have no reference for that and I am not even kidding. That's all I heard.
Perhaps he was making up for music that was not playing in the background.
Seriously.
They couldn't just play a little Christmas music for us while I sat there waiting to find out if I have skin cancer. Noooo. We had to sit in on-edge silence instead.
Where's the psychology in that? Let's put every patient in the waiting room under as much stress as possible during this holiday season. Yes. Let's do that. Merry Christmas.
Speaking of stress...how to make one's blood pressure and sugar rise in an instant...
So I get called to the room, which is sterile and pristine and contains not a single stealable drug in sight. Not even behind the closed cabinet doors.  (I would never...)
There, sitting smack dab in the middle of the room is a chair. An ominous cross between a dental chair (blech!) and a foldable massage contraption. (Although I'm pretty sure I wasn't about to get one of those.)
Like a pouty obedient child I put on my paper gown and sat in the less threatening chair that was provided.
That's when I started to look around.
Directly beside me was an electrical-looking metal box with some kind of appendage on it and had a sticker on the side of it saying this:
"Danger! Explosion risk when used with flammable anesthetic".
Now,
How do I understate what went through my mind in that moment in case a young child reads this.
Umm...
Let's see...
What if I put it this way...
WHAT IS FREAKIN' WRONG WITH THIS FREAKIN' PICTURE!!!!!
WHAT in the world did they use that thing for, was it going to be coming AT me and WHY are there EXPLOSIVES in this medical examination room that was meant to (I thought) save lives?!?!?
I certainly could've used some of those nonexistent drugs from behind the closed cabinet doors as the doc inserted a needle full of what I can only assume was GASOLINE as he ANESTHETIZED my FACE in order to SCRAPE OFF A SKETCHY MOLE.
Good times at Dr. Africkfrick's office, let me tell you.
Sheesh.
I can't wait for my follow-up appointment to find out the results of the lab tests on my missing piece of face.
I think I will bring one of those old-school boom-boxes and donate it to the waiting room. I'll even donate a Black Eyed Peas CD with Boom Boom Pow! on it since apparently THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT COULD HAPPEN ANY TIME YOU ENTER "THE ROOM".
Watch this blog for further developments.
I'm sure it will be a blast.

To privately contact me send messages to susiewithans@gmail.com